So yesterday I ventured down Snelling to get some perm rods. Sounds stupid, because it is. I know the last time perms were in was when Seinfeld was still on prime-time, but in my defense, Elaine always had great curly hair. (Random fact: Seinfeld was voted the number 1 TV show of all time right behind I love Lucy by TV GUIDE, and I know we’re all thinking the same thing, “how did Full House not make number 1?” May I remind you that we live in a fallen world, and things are not always the way they should be )
Anyway, all of that is completely besides the point. I get to Sally Hanson Beauty Supplies on Snelling and University. Walk in, get the rods, and head to the register. As I’m getting my wallet out, ( and may I add am being completely judged by the woman checking me out for buying perm rods) I realize that my keys aren’t in my bag. Pretty instantaneously, I know that I left them in my ignition, and the my only hope is that I was stupid enough to leave my car unlocked. I walk out to my car, attempt to open every door, but unfortunately realize that they are all indeed locked. My mind starts to think of how I can break this to my parents who have my spare key. Suddenly, that thought gets broken up by four guys driving by and whistling at me. Did I mention I’m in the ghetto? I mean, as ghetto as Minnesota could potentially get I suppose.
So I get kind of nervous and book it into Walgreens. Okay, so this is what this post is actually deticated to: My Mother’s response to the situation. I walk into the store, which by the way is playing Lil Wayne, and call my mom. I explain what happened, admitting that I messed up and I wasn’t being responsible, and basically on and on of the best sucking up I can do. After about a minute of this, there is silence on her end of the line. Never good. Finally she speaks…
” Why the heck are you perming your hair? Perms haven’t been in since Top Gun came out”
No joke, and she continued to make fun of me for perming my hair for about the next five minutes. Finally I was able to get her to focus on the actual situation at hand, and here is her protective, motherly advice…
“Kristina, this honestly happens to me all the time, and I’ve learned that you just have to use your resources. Last week I was at the Mall of America and when I locked my keys in the car, do you know what I did? I waited in the parking garage until I saw someone who looked like he knew how to break into cars. I called him over, and told him I would pay $5 if he could get my keys out. And he did!”
I laughed, but then was wondering if she was seriously suggesting that I go back out, wait by my car, and then ask someone who ” looked like they knew how to break into cars” if they could help me. Turns out, she was completely serious. She threw some lines out like, ” I’m sure some of those guys walking around carry hangers with them for this sole purpose, so ask! ” and ” It’s daylight! Just have 911 ready to go on your phone so you just have to push the talk button if something actually happens to you” and my personal favorite, ” there are so many advantages of being stuck in the ghetto right now.”
For anyone who doesn’t know my mom, which is probably anyone who would ever read this, she is crazy. She’s not actually a nut case, but she just lives life on the edge of her seat. The best part is that I couldn’t convince her that that was a stupid idea. The only reason she backed down was because I told her I didn’t have $5 cash on me to pay someone. She responded with ” That’s why you always carry $5 Kristina, for situations like this.” She was serious too.
So luckily Breckan came and picked me up, and Pete Gess hooked me up with AAA later that night. My car is back now, but my mom is coming up today and is going to teach me how to open my car door with a hanger. Honestly, crazy.
